Recently, I wrote an article called “Working Together with Trauma in a Committed Relationship” for the website Marriage.com. It’s a powerful article and asks a lot of the average person. Still, I’m hopeful that we can all learn how to work together with and through trauma in a committed relationship. I’m hopeful that we can become skilled in being with our partners when deep feelings and sensations emerge and this article is one small attempt at showing how it can be done. Every surge in consciousness and relational skill capacity requires that we set new goals for ourselves and I’d like to set a new goal that we learn how to support each other in this way.
While we should always bring a lightness of being to it, it is also, however, something to take seriously, very slowly, and very lovingly. Most of us are still challenged when trying to communicate well when in conflict and when emotions run high, so working with trauma may even be more difficult. But maybe it’s easier to do this kind of sharing because it’s clear that it’s one person’s turn to turn within and feel things. Things get messy when both people are going back and forth without a clear focus and agreed upon center of attention.
The article is a based on what I learned first-hand. It shares what it takes to work carefully with some of the deeper aspects of the psyche which emerge in the body as well as the mind.
It is my belief that we can share these intense places with our significant others–and it is, in fact, what is being asked of those of us on the path of conscious love.